For the first few weeks of swotvac (some coolio term for study week baahaa!), i've been dealing with a ridiculous wave of stress. To make it simple, i've became an EmoKia. :(
I locked myself into study mode, but i didnt realise that i locked myself out from the world.
My Stress Level : Moderately HIGH
- Cant sleep cuz haunted by the stacks of notes LOL
- Cant focus cuz thinking of too many WHAT IFS.
- Pessimistic cuz i kept thinking my lecturers are evil and the exams are HELL :/
- Fear cuz kept imagining myself BLANKING in the exam hall. boohoo T_T
- SENSE THE NEGATIVE VIBE GOING ON THERE..??
Basically, i was so stressed that i started to spook myself even tho it's not halloween la BAHA. So freakin stressed out before my Finance paper dat i totally couldnt study and cried over the phone to my parents. Btw CRYING = INSTANT RELIEF. :) that's when i realised.. how much stress i had bottled up in me, and that i was over-stressing myself. It's all over now tho. I learned how to cope. I saved myself just before my last few papers. HOHO.
From this emotional ride, i've learnt :
1) PROCRASTINATOR + PERFECTIONIST = EPIC FAIl = STRESS BOMB!
I walked the journey of being a perfectionist in the last minute @_@ YA. im like super left behind in studies cuz im a procrastinator, and yet i am a perfectionist when it comes to grades. not as in must get all A la, it's like, i must know that i've chiong-ed to the max, so no regrets. So proven, PHAIL.
ACHIEVEMENTS : Loss in appetite, sleep, the ability to focus, got murdered by my Finance paper (BOOHOO MY PROPHECY ABOUT MY EVIL FINANCE LECTURER WAS RIGHT! :X )
Conclusion : PROCASTINATION IS A SIN. AND EXCESSIVE STRESS IS OF NO USE - LAGS YOU BEHIND INSTEAD OF PUSHING YOU FORWARD. Ya u can stress youself till u're constipated but u still wont be able to do the paper, boohoo. so YOU FRIGGIN NEED A POSITIVE AND HEALTHY MIND! :) AND BE REALISTIC. IF PROCRASTINATE MAX, THEN DO NOT EXPECT GOOD RESULTS. REAP WHAT U SOW BABE!
2) DO NOT LOCK POOR SELF INTO FULLSWING STUDY MODE
DANGER ZONE!! I would never make myself do dat again! and neither should anyone else! i am efffing serious to the extent im using the word EFFIN! Hah, lame. @_@ But yea, I locked myselff into a study mode for like one month or 2 weeks or whatever la cant rmb zz. this is obviously a last minute technique la. IT WORKS PERFECTLY IN MALAYSIA BUT IT FAIL LIKE LAOSAI IN AUSTRALIA! In msia, last minute study of one week also enuf la swt, got tips summore, easy peasy. BUT IN UNIMELB - YOU CAN JUST DIE IF U DO LAST MINUTE! Only genius can use this technique. GRR. BIG LESSON : I AM NOT A GENIUS. :/
K but seriously, locking urself up in study mode is dangerous cuz u wont realised u're like secluding urself away from everything, and your mind will go BAZONKERS -- i became a pessimist, out of fear and stress. And somehow, my connection with the outside world got cut out, and loneliness will seep in. (Cuz everyone, including me, is too busy to even hang out. Melbourne has became a Ghost town during the exam mth yucks!) And so, yea it's like the cheerful me became someone else. Became pessimist. and cuz of the lack of social gratification, i had the worst feeling of loneliness. I felt that my friends dont care for me. and i felt the worst feeling of homesickness too. plus i feel detached from my surroundings cuz im in a new place, where all my emotional supports are back home. that's an additional stress. it's like WALAO EH everything come in at once like tsunami ZZ. banjired my soul, left me drowned in emoness HAHAH! Just being drama LOL.
Conclusion : Being locked up in a stressful mode will alter ur thinking and turn you into an emotional shit hole that you drown yourself in emoness and depression and anxiousness and fear. That's the ultimate stairway to being a psychopath :s
( HAHA i just realised i'm like doing the Modigliani & Miller proposition in Finance bahahhhhh! for the record, i hate finance :s if u even knw what i'm saying...?)
Well, not bad of a journey i must say.. what a freaking horrrifying detour from the peace and serenity of the healthy mind! :D And defo no more last minute and procrastination for me! :D
BAFOOOODLES! I'm off to dwell myself in my new found freedom and indulge in some shopping frenzy tmr. xo.
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